So, as much as I like reading blogs, I have never been one for 'blogging'; for putting my life so 'out there' in the public domain. But, I struggle to think in my head and thought that this would be a viable outlet for all the conversations I have with myself. Currently, I hope this will be a natural unfolding of life as it happens: of life as I try to be healthy and whole, of life living as a daughter in the kingdom of God and of life that is creative and experimental.
Thank you for reading.
I have just spent nine months in America, in northern California at Bethel church doing their school of Supernatural Ministry. Whilst it was amazing, incredible, mind-blowing and a whole host of other adjectives you could use to describe it, I feel that now, three and a half months after coming home, I am only just beginning to learn what it was all about. I cannot deny that a lot changed in myself when I was there, but now the bringing of the new self into the old environment is beginning to become a reality... and it's hard!
It's not the obvious things either. There is a lot I miss about being in America. For example, going to the supermarket to buy popcorn. You ask for popcorn and the lad takes you to the aisle with pre-packed ready-made popcorn. I clarify and ask for the kernels, for the stuff you pop yourself and he leads me to the microwave popcorn in a packet. For the third time I ask and find myself describing the kernels. He doesn't know and has to ask his colleague who looks equally blank. It turns out the supermarket probably doesn't have it, or if they do it's some unknown brand hidden away in some dusty corner. So I miss things like that, things that I have become accustomed to that now I have to re-adjust to.
I am finding it hard to continue with health-related choices that I made whilst in America. Perhaps because the nation is not a healthier nation, the effort made to be healthier (and therefore not have to pay for healthcare) is more pronounced. I also came to know more fully the absolute truth that my body IS a temple, that I NEED to be a good steward of that which is given to me. I also find that as I press further into the presence of God, I WANT to be healthier and because of these things, I find that my self-esteem is healthier; I love myself better and therefore am able to love others better. So it's complicated and I'm not very good at it! I miss being in a culture that is so health-conscious. I don't know if it was a church-culture thing or whether it was an American thing; the lines between the two are very blurred seeing as my first American experience was a church environment in America! I can't eat gluten anymore - this was a change that I implemented whilst I was in America. Even though it is for health reasons, not just a personal preference, I tell people this, my good friends, and their response is to call me a wierdo. Every day, I'll be offered a cake or a biscuit and I'll decline and say that I can't eat it. People look at me oddly and ask if I'm dieting. I explain why and inevitably I am met with a shrug of the shoulders, a 'what do you eat then?' and an odd look before they walk away. There are a few blogs that I follow and I have also been doing my own research on lifestyles that use food in more of it's natural way, to ensure that nutrient values are preserved as best as possible. It also takes into account how the body was designed and how it best processed food. Personally, I have become better at listening to my body and learning what it needs when (although I am still a long way from perfectly in-tune!) and I really agree with living a simpler, more natural lifestyle. However, I know that as soon as I bring up the topic of health, of eating naturally, of trying to do the best for one's body that I will be sniggered at and probably branded a hippie. Even explaining to a friend the other day why I take various vitamin supplements was awkward as it was clear to see that she thought I was a few sandwiches short of a picnic!
I bought a juicer today. I am so excited about this, it was hugely reduced and I have wanted one for a while. However, I have told no-one except my mum, who shares my values on this. Hopefully I'll introduce my housemate to the juicer and they'll become firm friends. I think it is the open-mindedness that I miss, the attitude that anything is possible, the attitude that live is positive rather than an eternal rat race that has to be endured.
Watch this space. Gluten free and healthy all the way!
